A quote from Don Miguel says, “Go inside and listen to your body because your body will never lie to you. Your mind will play tricks, but the way you feel in your heart, in your guts, is the truth.”

We all want financial freedom. It is evident in the many advertisements we see—on how to make millions, how to profit from courses, the hustle of money, go get money, let’s make money, affirmations of money, money mindset, etc. Every corner you turn, every email I open, someone is trying to sell the keys to financial freedom.

For a long time, I have always thought that I needed millions to be financially free. Surely, I want to support everybody and in so doing get support from people. No, this blog post will not lead you down a rabbit hole of painting financial freedom negatively. I will just be stating the truth of my money experience.

I remember shutting down and becoming super stressed because I was overly obsessed with getting money. I became burnt out trying to be financially free the world’s way.  This led me to bringing my real estate business to a halt and rethinking my thoughts. My journey to millions was weighing heavily on my mental and physical body.

I figured there has to be more to life than just making money. I wanted inner peace and fulfillment and was getting none of these in my money race. It dawned on me that the world’s way of making money was in great conflict with my inner world.  So, I completely turned away from the outside world and turned within, learning to trust my intuition as a guide. I wanted to learn and hear my inner voice loud and clear, blocking out the noise of the outside world.

It intrigued me to find an answer in the stillness and so I pulled myself deeper within. I decided to meditate more, going deeper, looking into my intuition. I wanted to develop my intuition, awaken the world within me, and cut my dependence on the outside world. I needed my intuition to guide me into living a peaceful life. I desired to be free from all the shackles and stress of money. I wanted to unlock myself from within.

Surrendering to my ego

The more obsessive I got about making money, the more it felt like I was stuck in a trap box. I became stressed. My yang (masculine) energy had no balance whatsoever and my yin (feminine) energy was not even operating. This YouTube video “Effortless way of living” gave me a new perspective on life, and I started thinking of money in a new way.

The thing is, I had a goal of making $5,000 per month and even when I reached this goal, putting my body, back and heart to it, I was still spiritually starved. While I am forever grateful for getting what I asked for, being spiritually starved meant I did not have any time to feed my soul as I wanted to. 

Before I was into real estate, I ran a coupon business. Now, this is something I love to do. I did it for years as a hobby and side hustle. Then this hobby became a job, demanding and tedious. Soon the feeling of unfulfillment overwhelmed me with this job, and so I wanted out of this business. I started praying for another moneymaking venture, one that was less demanding physically and more fulfilling spiritually. I started investing in myself and real estate, preparing my exit from the coupon world.

Let me tell you about my coupon business. I started couponing in October 2014, and it became serious in 2015. I would shop 24/7 if I could. I loved getting free toothpastes and household items for cheap and getting money back for items I purchased. I became hooked on couponing to the point it became a solid side hustle.

Here is how I became serious with couponing. After my second daughter, I was looking for a job that paid me at least $5,000 a month. While I was couponing as a hobby, I no longer wanted to work for pennies. Copying an act I saw on Netflix (from the film The Secret), I put a $5 bill on my nightstand and wrote “000” behind it, then I started trying to figure out who was going to pay me this amount.

Soon I took a coupon class where a lady said she makes 5k a week couponing. I turned my head quickly, knowing this is where my 5k a month is. So, I went all in and returned to couponing full-time, building up my stockpile in my basement for months, and finally, I was ready to post on Facebook Marketplace. Note, I have never in my life posted anything on social media before this. And surprisingly, I made 1k in one day. Of course, I became super hooked and geeked, having so many customers from Facebook, serving over 500 customers in my basement. I was in the stores eight days straight, sometimes trying to keep up with the demand. I would wake up at 1 am to cut coupons. The job became super extreme and it began to take a toll on me.

When the pandemic hit, I closed my coupon business and started working on my real estate business. So, trust me, I know the hustle and understand the money way of living.

I was making money, but while my outer world was very blissful, my inner self suffered. I traveled, paid off debt, and bought myself a brand-new van. It felt like I was on top of the world, but I did not feel free. I manifested money, but I wanted to manifest freedom. I thought money was the answer, but NO, freedom is what I truly wanted deep within me. 

I started therapy to heal and forgive everything. I finally admitted I hated my grandma and my father. My childhood trauma stemmed from them. I had open wounds from my grandmother and my father that I needed to heal. I wanted to forgive family and friends and be free from all failed relationships. I wanted emotional and spiritual freedom. My therapist asked me, “Do you want an apology from them?” I said, “NO, I don’t even want to talk to them about my feelings or emotions.”

However, I wanted to be free, and I soon realized that forgiveness comes with freedom. Freedom from bondage and freedom to heal from past wounds. I started the journey of healing and I was not prepared for the pain I would endure in the process. I mean, I cried so hard, but I told God I don’t care how much it hurt. I want it; I want to be free. This was a very defining moment—I was sailing the night of my soul, slaying my own demons. I had to face myself, looking at the depth of my soul.

I confronted myself, admitting things about myself I am not proud of. I stopped focusing on who hurt me and began looking at people I hurt and things I did to them. Although I was hurt, I had to admit I have hurt others. I had to forgive myself as well as others in my healing journey. I had to die to my old self (dying to the person I no longer wanted to be), and this process was another layer of pain. I no longer wanted to gossip about others, be nosey, be jealous, or envious anymore. I wanted to be free from my past, birthing the new me. I started seeing the person I wanted to be and telling myself I am her. I started making moves from my higher self and being careful about where I put my energy. I started being very intentional about my life, the way I talk to people, and the way I show up for myself. I became committed to being aware of myself.

Spiritual freedom matters more to me than financial freedom today because I want to live from my soul, and not the financial-free program of the world. I want to fully express my spiritual freedom and focus on why I am here, instead of being materialistic and unhappy. I want to be happy and free. Choosing spiritual freedom allows me to live from my soul—to be a spiritual being with a human experience. I want my soul to be satisfied and fulfilled.

I am currently taking a class on manifestation, not guru classes, but classes that teach the truth about manifestation. The teacher talks about needs versus wants.  She talks about getting what you want is not always what you want; even after you get it, the feeling of longing is still there, and I agree with her 100 percent. I have got things I wanted to only realize I don’t want them, but when I focus on what I need, I’m capable of processing my wants a little differently. Getting what I need is more fulfilling and satisfying. I have learned to admit what I need in the moment instead of covering it up with things I want.

I am committed to my spiritual journey of forever evolving mentally, physically, and spiritually. I look forward to hearing from you, talking to you, connecting with you, and standing enlightened with you.

#befree #bealight #loveandlight

Denetria Brijel

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