A quote from Pinterest says: “Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul”
The real war is within—the battle between thought and feelings. The war with your soul is real, and it starts when you suppress your feelings.
I have created my own war with myself by not listening to my vibes and going against my feelings. Although feelings can be scary, they are a compass to guide you to your truth. I am currently studying my own emotions to understand my patterns and align more with my true self. This has helped me to create the life I truly wanted instead of being at war with myself by covering it up with things, food, and other people’s opinions.
I had built my life on the words, thoughts and perspectives of others. I was programmed to think in ways that did not align with my soul. I was unaware at the time this is what created the war within me. I became a victim, unhappy, depressed, mad all the time, suffered a lot of anxiety and PTSD, and even contemplated suicide, believing death was better than this life.
I grew up in a household that expressed emotions negatively. So, I grew up immature on an emotional level until I started to understand the importance of emotional intelligence. Because I was programmed to live from logic and other people’s opinions (outworld), my innerworld (spiritual) journey felt so foreign to me. While I was living in my body, I became unaware of my own soul. I didn’t understand how my body worked. I didn’t understand that I was hurting myself. I have ignored the pain in my body by listening to someone else.
So, I had to tune in and ask my body about the pain—ask my body how I can heal her.
The journey of healing myself begins with unlearning what I know. I used to be afraid to trust myself because I was programmed to see outcomes ahead of time. I had to learn to trust myself (unknown territory for me), not bothering myself with outcomes. It’s like feeling your way instead of seeing your way. For example, I look at the birds searching for worms in the grass and they listen, walk and feel the worm move underground and dig it up. As I look at the ground, I see nothing, but the birds know what to look for. Like the birds in nature, we can learn to trust our innerworld. We can feel, trust, believe, and act without seeing an immediate outcome.
The fact is, we know our history, but we barely know ourselves. We are afraid to look within because we are scared of feeling instead of seeing. We would rather be directed instead of feeling. We are afraid to trust this uncomfortable feeling within. We are scared of following the invisible compass of our souls.
Some of the best decisions I ever made came from trusting myself and some of the worst decisions I made came from trusting other people.
Sadly, we are conditioned to depend on the outer world, government programs, society programs, TV, and news programs. Society has programmed us to depend on elections, presidents, congress, politicians to have our best interest at heart. The news fosters hate, the media is very biased, and it makes us think things are really worse than what they are. They glamorize hate more than love. For example, all the shirts and signs that say “I hate racism” and “STOP KILLING EACH OTHER” mostly send a bad vibration to the universe. These types of words keep us in a low vibrational state. Why not signs with “I love all races” or “LOVE EACH OTHER”? Society keeps us in a low vibrational state to control us. Love is a high vibrational word and this vibration sends us higher. Hate is low vibrational.
The journey to the inner world is definitely worth pursuing. I feel free and supported by my angels, my spirit guides, and my ancestors. I wait for downloads from the universe to truly help me.
I am also working on developing my intuition because this is the least developed law in our society. Most people are millionaires based on rigorous systems, not on spirit-given intuition. However, it is possible to use your sixth sense to create the life you want. I am following this lane, letting go of the idea of hustling extremely hard and burning out my body to be financially free.
I trust the least resistant way of living—the law of the least—to get everything I want. I am aligning my vibration with the universe and choosing to enjoy my journey to get the income I want. And I love the journey I am taking to get there.
People will judge you for doing what is best for your soul. However, at the end of the day, making your body feel the best requires listening to your soul instead of the outside world. I am on this journey of trusting myself, being led by my soul, my angels, and my spirit guide.
The spirit world has a lot in common with the physical world; there is a hierarchy in the spirit world. You can even have a spirit team and a spiritual network of healers, teachers, and guardian angels.
Moving from the outside to the inside, my body is floating in bliss. The truth is, your body will heal once you heal the soul. By nourishing your soul, goodness will flow outside of you from within.
I am living my dream because I chose not to be at war with my body. When my job was affecting my chakras (especially my heart chakra) and bringing negative vibes, I quit despite people telling me it was a bad idea. Working this job, I had heart issues and went to the ER, but they could not find anything. After I quit, it felt like a ton of bricks has been lifted off me. Enjoying my freedom, I said I would never work a job that makes me feel like that again.
I have learned a lot from my spirit. I have learned to use my yin (feminine energy) instead of my yang (masculine energy) to get money. I have learned to follow the more relaxed path to freeing my mind, body, and spirit. I am no longer obsessed with negativity and things that harm me.
The thing is, I was getting money, working eight days a week. Yep, I know there is no such thing, but that was how much I was working. My body was suffering. I had so much tension in my neck, hands, and back. My thyroid was fixing to act up with all the pain in my neck that would not go away. I was stressed and burned out.
On the 27th of September, I had a car accident. I blacked out because I was so stressed and only remember being hit by a vehicle. This experience felt like another awakening, shifting my outlook on life. I believe there is more to life than just getting money, paying bills, getting a house, and getting a car. And this near-death experience woke me up—I could have died in my quest to get money. When Covid happened, it knocked me out of business completely. I was an extreme couponer at the time. I will record this experience in another blog post. lol
The change I wanted came when I sat at home, healing from anxiety, listening to my body, relieving a lot of stress out of my hands, neck, and back. The body talks once you take the time to listen. I discovered so much about myself by listening and becoming extremely aware of my body.
I am happy to say I have healed my body and the full story of this will be in another blog post as well.
Leveraging my healing, I started my real estate business, my spiritual blog and I am excited to become a Reiki healer.
While I feel so free now, I still feel uneasy about the unknown. In the end, I love working for myself instead of working for anybody else. For me, getting a job is scarier than being 100 percent self-employed. I love the freedom of entrepreneurship. I hate being told when to take a break, what time to start work, being super exhausted from the job, and then not having any energy for me or my kids.
I wrote in my journal exactly what I wanted. Then I asked myself questions. Who is going to pay me to work nine to three at $30 an hour, working only 5 days a week? Nobody. So, I had to hire myself and learn how to make money on my own.
Like Lauren Hill once said, “You can’t win if you ain’t right within.” To win, you have to live within, live your purpose, and end the war with yourself.
I look forward to hearing from you, talking to you, connecting with you, and standing enlightened with you.
#befree #bealight #loveandlight
Denetria Brijel
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