I remember when the light within me became so dim that I had to surrender myself to God.  On the 5th of December 2016, I went to church, sat in the front row, asking God for help about my marriage, asking Him what I should do. I was miserable, unhappy, and my marriage was failing. I sat there, crying and trying to figure out what I should do, and silently the answer came in these words: your marriage is in a desolate state.

What does that even mean? I thought. I looked up the word and it basically meant dead. I cried harder. I couldn’t believe my marriage was dead. I wanted a different answer—one that would save my marriage. I came home, still determined to save my marriage. But in my spirit, those dreadful words still echoed: you can’t save your marriage, it’s dead and you don’t have the power to resurrect something dead.

So, I faced the truth: I immediately stopped trying to save my marriage and accepted the fact that it was over. I spent the month of December 2016 grieving my marriage like a death. The next month in January 2017, I began the year with a desire to become a brand-new person. I picked myself up and started to seek happiness again. I didn’t even tell people I was getting a divorce at first. I simply kept it to myself, allowing this reality to build within me.

When I finally decided to tell people, I was speaking my truth and nobody could change my mind or shift my thoughts—no matter how hard they tried. I remember telling myself that I still believe in love and I want my daughter to see what real love looks like. Even till now my ex-husband and I are great parents to my daughter and I have no regrets about having a child with him because he is a great father.

I remember telling myself I still believed in love and I was not going to let the fact my marriage died to kill the love inside of me for other people.

I ran into Mr. Anthony back in September 2016, whom I had known for about 17 years. He always tried to holler, but I was never interested in him. We exchanged numbers then, but in my mind, I knew I wasn’t going to entertain him. When he called me later, I didn’t answer. He called again in December 2016 and I still wasn’t feeling him.

I was at my cousin’s house in January 2017 and he came across my mind. I said to myself: No, I ain’t calling him. Weeks later he popped into my thoughts again and I’m like NO. He came across my mind again days later and I decided I’m going to call him.

At his place, Anthony and I talked and smoked, and I enjoyed his company. When I decided to get ready to leave, of course, he tried to get all over me. Right before I walked out the door, he kissed my neck, awakening something in me like never before. I could feel the spark inside me turn on, lighting up. My spirit awakened to him. The feeling, so new to me, was unforgettable. I started seeing him often and we got a hotel the next month in February 2017.

Connecting with him brought a wave of good feeling to me, each time an unbelievable experience. Each day I’m grateful that I trusted the intuition and spirit that guided me to him. Grateful for the divinity that connected us, transforming my life for the better.

Anthony, a spiritual being, was truly God-sent. By connecting to him, I have had many mind-shifts and spiritual awakenings. He introduced me to books, numerology, astrology, and other things that made me more spiritually grounded.  He is my life partner, my spiritual teacher, soul mate, twin flame, father to my beautiful daughter Yara.  He has been a light for me to grow spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially. He has been a great mirror for me to look at and see myself. He has watched me heal my wounds, love myself, and forgive myself and others. The light in him sees the light in me and we are constantly growing and evolving together.

Being around him and being with him has taught me the art of peace, stillness, and self-love. While he loves me with his soul, I knew this man truly loved himself as well and would not compromise that for anybody. Whenever Anthony isn’t capable of doing something, he would tell me no unapologetically—a concept I was struggling with because I was a yes-woman to almost everybody. I learned from him the true essence of self-love and truly started the journey of healing and loving myself authentically and unapologetically. We honor each other in self-love and take care of our own needs before we attempt to take care of other needs. As individuals, our love tank is full and we honor each other’s individuality.

With him, I learned true love is only possible when each party’s love tank is full. I learned to be 100 percent authentic. I was able to self-express myself to him so easily. In our relationship, we are capable to express our hopes and dreams together without judgment.  We continue to grow and evolve as individuals as well as one entity.

Despite my dead past marriage, I was fortunate enough to find myself a lover and best friend. My life is full of bliss, love, peace, and joy. I remember asking the universe for a man like this and I didn’t it would be him. We had both separated from our spouses and we ended up on the same vibration. Now we have a beautiful daughter together that looks like both of us.

I dreamed of her before she was born and I did not understand the meaning at the time. After Anthony and I started talking, I told him I had a dream he met my father and I had this dream of him being in bed with me and our daughter in bed with us. This dream a preview of what would come to pass. I became pregnant nine months after, every premonition I had was coming true.  Every time my husband, daughter and I are in bed together, my dream comes to mind, a continuous reminder of better days foreseen.

Anthony is truly a light in my life and he sets my soul on fire. I love talking to him daily and being around him. Even when we have disagreements, we do not argue at all. I had to learn that incessant bickering is not normal. All my life I have seen couples argue and I thought that was normal. He showed me through action that he is not built for arguing. He would shut down when I would try to argue with him. I thought he was crazy for not arguing with me, but he would never argue. Soon I was learning how to express myself in a calm and respectful tone with him.

Everything is refreshing to me: how we respect each other, ask questions, and not yell at each other like children. This relationship has been very fulfilling personally and spiritually. For the first time in a long time I have control of my ego, even when I’m frustrated with him, my spirit helps me figure out the best approach to take.

I have learned to consult my spirit guides and my soul on how to approach anything of conflict or things I don’t agree with and it has been an amazing journey. I am experiencing light finally in my life—becoming light.

To be a light means you are being yourself, being authentic, and living from your soul. One of my life’s purposes is to be a light to anyone that needs it. Seeing the light in Anthony, I tapped into it and became a light for myself and for others.

To my readers, no matter how dim life feels right now, remember that there is an eternal light in you. And the light in me sees the light in you.

No matter what life has thrown or is throwing at you, remember to be a light and let it shine so bright that it causes others to BE A LIGHT.

I am committed to my spiritual journey of forever evolving mentally, physically, and spiritually. I look forward to hearing from you, talking to you, connecting with you, and standing enlightened with you.

#befree #bealight #loveandlight

Denetria Brijel

Email: [email protected]

Pinterest: dedespeaks