Have you thought about unlearning everything you’ve been taught? After my spiritual awakening, I decided I wanted to unlearn everything. I intentionally began to question everything in my life.

There was a point in my life when I was unsure if I even wanted a relationship. I began to question my thoughts on relationships, questioning if folks needed to be in a “relationship” to have sex. Surely, I knew nothing about sustaining a relationship since everything I had learned had led me to a divorce. I had cheated in my marriage and even before I was married.

It was later in life I decided that I don’t want to be defined by a relationship. After my divorce, I chose to be entangled with my new partner with no title attached. People would ask me if we are together and I would boldly say NO! I have no interest in being in a relationship at the moment, but I can still enjoy the conversation, sex, and time spent with my partner.

At this point of unlearning, I decided I don’t give a fuck about titles in a relationship. Instead of holding on to titles, I wanted to be more in tune with my feelings with my partner. I remember being married and having the title of wife. I remember how miserable I was and I did not want to do that again.

With my new partner, I am more focused on my needs as an individual and I am having a great time being with him. After about eight months of being with him, I began telling the universe I wanted to be in a relationship with him, allowing the universe to take care of all the details. Today we are together, happy and free as individuals, and that is what I care about the most.

I don’t care about what a relationship looks or seems like. What matters the most to me is how I feel being in a relationship. To have suffered for years being in an unhappy marriage, I am glad that my partner and I are happy as individuals and happy together.

Unfortunately, a lot of my negative beliefs came from my family and the outside world. It’s only after my divorce I began assessing the advice I took from my family. I realized nobody in my family could help me the way I wanted and started looking outside for help.

I began looking at life more spiritually than physically. I started reading books and Pinterest quotes. I started meditating—I was so used to moving about and staying still made me a little anxious. However, the more I meditated, the more aware I became of myself, and this improved my life spiritually and physically.

Unlearning my beliefs about relationships wasn’t easy. All the relationships in my life were very toxic. No matter how nice I was, no matter how hard I tried to make a relationship work, it only got worse. I thought something was wrong with me with my waves of unhealthy relationships.

I understood I had to create a healthy relationship with myself first before I can form healthy ones with my mom, my daughters, family members, and friends.

I have learned to protect my energy and only surround myself with like-minded people. I have learned to pay attention to “the pink flags” quoted by AJ on The dirty bag podcast episode 10 “The spirit is not your lil friend, noticing when something is not right, and letting it go before it gets ugly.

I also began the journey of unlearning my beliefs about money, understanding that I didn’t know shit about money. I read Dave Ramsey, followed his wealth recipe, and my money mindset shifted. After watching the movie, The Secret, I put a five-dollar bill with three zeros behind it on my nightstand, determined to make at least 5k a month as I was barely making 2k a month. I set my intentions, determined to better myself financially. I listened to Rich Dad Poor Dad, Think and Grow Rich, The Science of Getting Rich, and The Millionaire Mindset audiobooks, and they all helped me manifest the money I wanted.

I understood that unlearning starts with myself. So, I went to therapy and hired a life coach. I wanted to heal and forgive everyone. I no longer wanted to carry baggage or my victim story around. I wanted to be free within my soul and forgiveness was the path to it.

Unlearning is a forever-evolving process, and if you are persistent, you become more aware of your own bullshit. You become spiritually awakened, seeing everything—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Unlearning made me more aware of my desire for a change in my thoughts and belief patterns. I began to question the way I parent my kids because I could now recognize the same old patterns of my parents in me: how frustrated I sound and annoyed I become when communicating with my daughter. Raising my daughter, I became aware I am just like my mom. To change it, I had to become more present with my daughter—something I didn’t enjoy as a little girl.

The art of unlearning everything is truly infinite. Every day I try to be more aware. Unlearning is never about changing myself; it’s about becoming aware of myself, watching myself, studying, and observing myself. While we are taught how to observe others, it’s even more important to watch ourselves. As I unlearned, the heavens have opened to rain new opportunities for me to grow and evolve. I can now ask the universe for guidance, tune within me, and truly live an authentic life.  I honestly believe when you know it all or think you know it all, you cut yourself from growing. I am like a child to the universe who is not afraid of asking for direction and help to truly live a great life.

I am committed to my spiritual journey of forever evolving mentally, physically, and spiritually. I look forward to hearing from you, talking to you, connecting with you, and standing enlightened with you.

 #befree #bealight #loveandlight Denetria Brijel

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